Hari Nam Kaur and I were engaged to be married at the end of the yogi summer camp in Espanola. She was talented, adventurous, loving, patient, forgiving, and looked good in a turban. She introduced me to many things during the years we were together. I experienced; Inipi, the Lakota Sioux sweat lodge ceremony; hiking in the Grand Canyon; Gabriele Roth 5 rhythms; and what an idiot I could be.
I wish I could tell you about what a great partner I was. But I was not. I was emotionally immature for being in a relationship with this woman. The best thing I learned with her was how to be a better partner. Unfortunately not while we were still together.
This photo was taken in my house in Espanola, behind the dome where Yogi Bhajan lived. It still touches me more than 30 years later. I am the guy with the long beard and white turban, Hari Nam Kaur, and my daughter. We look like a loving family. In that moment we were!
According to many great spiritual teachers, love is not like a light switch, it is for life. Meaning, when we love someone, it is forever. Love does not come with an off switch. If you can turn the love off, then it was not love. Without getting into the psychology of this idea, I trust you, the reader, to know what I am talking about. Love is like that line we all know, where the bride and groom each repeat, they will love each other until death.
Can we run out of love, like running out of gas? NO! There is an endless flow of love in this world, universe, and in every breath we take. Like our cars, we do need a license to love? No! We exist because of love. We were fed, cared for, protected, and taught in love.
It would be easier to compare love to breathing. Every breath brings a possibility since it contains prana, the energy of life. We breathe, and we live, and we do stuff. If we do things for other people’s happiness, that is love. If we do stuff only for our own happiness, that is misery.
Yes, we can love many people, at the same time, and over time. I love my kids, now adults; I love my current partner; I love serving my students; I love taking care of myself.
It has been more than 25 years since I had any contact with Hari Nam Kaur, but she is still my family. I am grateful for all she gave me in love. I will love her until my last breath.